“I am not awfully sure I can account for myself. I would make a terrible
witness; I can barely remember what I had for dinner last night. The first
half of my life was driven by my innate unhappiness and reckless attempts
to block out a world I did not feel I belonged in. All I managed to do was
make things worse. I have cheered up considerably since then, getting a
dog helped a lot. I am now on my second dog, I work a little, write a little,
drink lots of tea but mostly we hang out in the park. I keep a blog here
when in London and here when I am in Miami.”
Who are you and what do you do for a living?
That’s a very good question, I wish I could answer it with confidence.
I was a lecturer last month and this month I am not entirely sure.
Do you trust yourself?
A fuck of a lot more than I trust anyone else. There are however
aspects of my life that I trust myself to mess up. I have 100% faith
that I will continue to procrastinate and generally under achieve.
Then again I am also pretty straight forward — if I say the check
is in the post then it is.
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
The egg — the universe is one huge fuck — the egg is
the issue of that union
What have you done since you woke up this morning?
Edited my suitcase to 16 kilos of clothing I wont wear, had coffee
with a pornographer friend of mine and got on a plane to Miami.
Where do you go when no-one is looking?
Cake shops, I brazenly go to cake shops as well, and I like to
sneak into the cinema alone in the afternoon.
What is your earliest memory?
Floating above my father as he prepared breakfast I had a lot of
out of body experiences as an infant
Please describe the place you are currently in,
or the view from your window?
I am flying over Virginia — it really could be any landmass that
adopted the feudal system actually. I happen to know its Virginia
since I just checked on the journey map thing on my screen
What do you like the look of?
Films: This Must be the Place
Miami Beach: will be there this evening
The café Spuntino in Soho: it look great but I have never been
in as yet
Were you a popular child?
Not really in terms of having lots of friends — I tended to have just
one or two kindred spirits in tow I was a little odd as a child –
I suppose that is what is wonderful about being an adult – that we
can move and change and find that we can make lots of friends with
similar outlooks. I remember hearing someone in an AA meeting
saying how happy he was socially now he had come to AA and
‘I wish I could have known you all when I was a teenager’ I thought
What sustains you?
Cake, humour, money, magick & friends
Do you scare easy?
Not any more
Who was the first cultural figure to influence you?
Charles Manson — he got a lot of press in the 1970s, not all of it
unattractive to me as I watched from the stifling confines of my
grandparents sofa in Lancashire
Where is love?
What’s under your clothes?
10lbs of winter fat that I intend to leave in Miami
Do you subscribe to a particular belief?
I am an initiate in the early degrees of a Thelemic Order so
I am exploring that right now
What two colours should never be seen?
As a rule the colours of food do not belong in other places such
as on clothing or walls, they could occasionally contribute to
paintings or pictures
What do you like most about fame and success?
Not something I can answer — I would like the freedom of
finance that could come with success
Who did you spend last night with?
Alone in a cinema watching The Ballad Of Genesis &
What do you do for fun?
Eat cakes, drink tea, gossip, fuck, dress up, laugh,
What one thing would improve the quality of your
What do you predict for London?
Increase in cost of living, continued disruption due to road
works, Olympic games and other bad ideas but ultimately it
will remain one of the greatest cities in the world
What is your number one priority?
The welfare of those I love
Why do you do what you do?
Money or love
If a tree falls down in a wood but no one is there to
hear it, does it make a noise?
Yes, watch the film Antichrist; the phrase ‘nature is Satan’s
temple’ resonates to me; I photograph trees at night,
they amaze me
Who do you like to talk shop with?
Well lecturers who hate the management at the university
we work at, it makes me feel less alone and victimised
Where to go for the best late night cocktail in London?
The last drink I had was 6 years ago: a Marguerita straight
up in The Wosley
What is your most marked characteristic?
My bittersweet humour I imagine
What would you like to be better at?
What is your favorite smell?
Jasmine in summer, tuberose in winter
What quality do you most like in man?
To be a fantastic fuck
What is the quality you most like in woman?
What is sexy?
Love is sexy, lack of inhibition and connection is sexy also
How do you know when something is finished?
How can you let go of it?
Well, I tend to fall into things and storm out of them. No one is
more surprised than me to hear the sound of a door slamming
behind me as a stalk out in indignant rage. I think its about a
tipping point, one day I care, the next I couldn’t give a toss.
I don’t really hang about long in bad situations (that don’t pay)
Do you have a short anecdote for us? Or a joke?
100s of anecdotes — I think in anecdotes, it’s a survival
strategy. See my blog.
What is your favorite sound?
The Moonlight Sonata when it goes up an octave —
In a parallel universe what are you doing right now?
Watching myself from the wings… I am my own
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
What do you regard as your greatest achievement?
Do you collect anything? If so what?
Nothing actually I am not materialist in that sense —
I tend to like disposable items — perfume, clothing,
things that don’t last, I will leave little behind me
Which work of art do you most covet for your home?
Well I guess one of those multi-million pound Bacon triptychs
so I could sell it or if I really had to hang it Nan Goldin’s
photograph of Greer.
Which image do you keep returning too?
Henry Wallis, The Death of Chatterton, 1856 at Tate Britain
Where do you find most pleasure?
In my mind
What’s your favorite public place in London?
The walk I do with the dog through St James and into
What’s your favorite private place in London?
Maybe the cinema at Soho House. I don’t have a membership but
my friend takes me , the pool at Shoreditch [House] is nice also
What is humanity’s biggest failing?
Beauty or intelligence?
Intelligence is beautiful
What piece of music would you like played at
Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd
Is life serious?
Some of the time when I forget its supposed to be a game —
in fact perhaps life is frivolous and I am just prone to forgetting